At the moment, I find it difficult to be angry. If you
follow my other blog, you will understand. I found someone. I know, it’s a
fucking miracle!
Back the fuck off!
Anyway, I was thinking about it and realized that
relationships are their very own special kind of hell. Before you start saying,
“Wow, she must feel so special right now,” let me explain…
I have been around for a long time. I have had all kinds of
relationships. Yet now, with her (name changed, to protect her dignity, to “Leslie”),
I find myself regressing to my youth – high school, in particular.
I get around her and get all self-conscious and tongue tied.
I want to kiss her and never stop.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I mean – nothing is wrong
with wanting to kiss her, but this behavior…
It was at this point that I noticed I was/am behaving like
all of those lunatics of whom I make fun CONSTANTLY.
“No, you hang up first!”
I think I threw up a little in my mouth there!
On the other hand, I love the way she makes me feel! I haven’t
felt these feelings since I was in high school. She is really taking over my
every thought. I don’t want to smother her, but I always want to talk to her.
Dear God I am pathetic!
So… my rant today is GROW THE FUCK UP!
And my response to that rant is NO FUCKING WAY!!!
She makes me feel alive and wonderful and her eyes and smile
melt my heart, bear my very soul to the world and lead me willingly to unknown
heights of an unexplored emotion.
I wish I could bottle this feeling!
